Sometimes I think I must be a freak. Pregnancy
is one of those times. I seem to go against the current, the widespread trend, in so many ways that yet once more I feel singled out by the crowd.
In some cultures more than others, being pregnant means that you´re in a vulnerable, delicate moment of life regardless of your overall state be it emotional, physical or otherwise. So no matter how hard you try to go about, unintentionally proving to the world how well you feel inside and out, you´re bound to run into people who will impose their help and good intentions even on your ordinary, daily activities. I am lucky, I know. A certain percentage of women do experience 9 months of all sorts of mildly uncomfortable symptoms all the way up to life threatening conditions that endanger the enjoyment of one of the most wonderful events in a person´s life -if not the most. But I think many play along with the damsel-in-distress charade simply because the significant changes that come with not just creating, but welcoming a brand new little person into your life can be overwhelming. What I´ve found though, is that it mostly comes down to -as does everything else in life- your attitude. You can chose to sit there and be overwhelmed and not know what hit you every time you feel a new symptom, or you can chose to be overwhelmed and go with the flow of that energy and use the experience to open your eyes to life´s magical way of perpetuating your species, a genuine mixture of sci-fi and fairy-tale.
We are afraid of what we don't know and that is perfectly normal... but also easily changed. Popular belief drills into your head all kinds of spooky, absurd statements in the form of seemingly harmless advice from people who, most probably, do care about you. However, all this really does is add stress to an already eventful, intense experience. Getting a few facts straight early on or at least having a reliable, trustworthy source to turn to when in need of answers, could make the difference between experiencing a pregnancy full of anguish and one full of wonder. Then again, it may just be something bigger than me. Culture expresses itself through so many different layers that attempting to change the people around you can be more than any one person could handle. Which also applies to the homogeneous, choreographed response I've gotten from everyone that's heard I'm expecting my third child and already have two boys. The reaction suggests that if I have a third boy the general feeling should be that of disapointment. Disapointment! Really, is there anyone left in this country that does not know about Pablo and Diego?
My general feeling is that if I have another healthy child I'm incredibly blessed. If I have one anything like my wonderful two boys, quite honestly I have no idea what I've done to deserve it. It may have something to do with the fact that many people usually look for anything external -a partner, a child, a job- to guarantee happiness or a sense of purpose in life or even a reason of being. And from what I've gathered recently, a lot of women think I need a girl in order to attain these things. And if I don't ever have one it means I was cast some evil spell. Well, maybe I'll always go against the current because this notion is something very tightly knit into our culture. The thing is, anyone who thinks that way is lacking a bit of information, some important pieces of the puzzle. So ignorance, it turns out, is certainly not always bliss.
